Triggered

So Day 22 of the #30DayPhotoChallenge says I’m supposed to post this pic challenge about Inspiration. Here’s how inspired I’m feeling. 




The correct theme for this should be Triggered, because that's what the fuck I am. 

Lately, I have been doing my damndest to be outwardly calm in spite of the shit storms and MF drama I am trying to sort through. I've been trying to stay focused, and keep things moving along, looking after the kids, working, managing the finances, cleaning, cooking, oh just you know, doing fucking all of it

Unsurprisingly, I eventually lost my marbles. There were punches and chairs thrown, cops called. All around ugliness.  Lowest moment of my 33 years.  Since then, the vow to self was to keep my shit together, and try to adult my way through this, because you know, I'm good at pretending to be civilized and not a crazy bitch. Have been doing pretty well on that front, and then today, one small seemingly benign act of selfishness has me enraged to the point where I want to burn down the MF house. I am just livid. And even though there are apologies, I know the heart & actions are not in them, which only makes me want to strike more matches.

As usual, misunderstandings are abound because "it's nothing". To me, its just another MF thing. Same shit different day. Same shit, different year.  It's those mindless, small acts of selfishness, those tiny misunderstandings that have amounted to a deep valley of misunderstanding and resentment. And the continued treatment that this is nothing, only exacerbates my anger, and infuriates me to the point of no return. 

Fuck it. 

Burn it. All of it. 

Burn it all to the MF ground. 



Comments

its just moi said…
hahahahahahahah....eh se suga....I understand and feel you completely !! infact I think we women and the masters of hiding it all when inside there is a MF nuclear bomb waiting to go off...and we multitask and supertask and superwomen the crap out of lives that when people start taking us for granted...ia time bomb about to go off. My nana gave me some good advice once and practically said sometimes you just got a say FUG IT....ie dont give a shit leave things to stay smelly dirty stinky eat crap everyday ...so long as know one DIES point is...to wake up the rest of the potential people around you (she actually said "gaga lou alofa" lol !!) ....OR...fug it splurge and go on a holiday :) breathe in breath out!
Fotu said…
Lol. Hi Nola! Girl, I booked my flights today.

Happy holidays to you & the kids!
kuaback said…
Today's mood. hehehe

time for another GNO before your flight? hehehe