Fortunate Reminders

Day 10 of #30DayWritingChallenge. Write about something for which you feel strongly about:

I feel strongly about how fortunate I am:
  1. I am the most up to date with work, than I have been in months.
  2. My kids are happy, healthy and thriving. My bond with them is stronger than ever before. 
  3. I am capable of taking care of things myself. I took my own trash out today. Laundry, Cooking, Cleaning. Check. Check. Check. 
  4. My bank account is healthier than it’s been in a long time. I have two jobs, they both pay well, and my employers are amazing and understanding. 
  5. Have eaten clean consistently for 6 weeks. I weigh 179 lbs and I squat 135lbs today. 
  6. I have family and friends whom love and support me. 
  7. I am self aware, and brutally honest with myself in an effort to improve myself. 
  8. Air in the lungs. Roof over the head. Food in the fridge. Netflix subscription. 

I feel strongly about my ability to overcome:
  1. My heart feels unfixably broken.
  2. I am complicit and active in ruining that which is most sacred to me. I am selfishly putting myself first, at the expense of everyone else. And I feel strongly it is the right thing to do because I don’t know how to stop it without destroying myself.
  3. The yucky emotions I’m trying to dispel from my being & my life: Anger. Guilt. Self loathing. Judgment. Disrespect.