Restless

Sleep evades, yet again, so here I am to let off some steam in the constant and fruitless search for answers and shut eye.

Big kid is settling into school just fine, although her homework routine is no joke. There’s a 3 page fine print Homework Contract between the teacher, parent and student. We are clearly no longer in American Samoa where I constantly complained about the quality of Homework my kid was bringing home. I asked for better schools, so wish granted! Now enjoy it, Fotu.

My younger one needs to go to preschool. If her tantrums at not being able to go with big sis to school are anything to go by, I need to bite the (fucking $1000 monthly) bullet and put her in pre-school because that’s what you’re supposed to spend your money on, Fotu!

I have been in town all week at meetings and have done the commute home from town during post work rush hour, and let me just say, I will never complain about traffic between Nuuuli and Iliili ever again. Or the cost of fuel in American Samoa. Ever. Again. I wanted a new challenge, boy did I get one. Battling idiot drivers on the freeway for an hour and fifteen minutes every afternoon. Need to find road rage coping techniques that don’t involve alcohol or flipping the bird. Woosah.

Aside from the children and the traffic jams, life remains simple yet complicated. I have been going through some kind of wretched self awakening of recent. In case you can’t tell from my scarily consistent oversharing on the blog. I know I sound all over the place on here but I have a lot of clarity about what I want, and I am seeking the patience and the courage to make the right decisions. As they say, the right path is not always the easy path. And trust me there are no easy paths. There is pain in each path, but I need the one that leads to a real, and meaningful love, and a genuine happy. I'm mindful of everyone on the path, all of whom I care about, and so I tread carefully as I maneuver my way along this wretched path

I’m no sleepier now than I was when I started writing this. Restlessness is a sign of a worried mind.

Deep sigh.

Fotu. Just. Trust. Things will be ok. Because. No Choice.

Good night, world.

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