No chill

My kids have finally joined me after almost a month apart.  Having them back has been much needed, absolutely wonderful and completely hair raising, all at once. I have gotten all the long awaited hugs and kisses I've been missing.  This has also meant the house is noisy and busy, I am cooking again, and there is an excess of opinions about everything. It’s only been 48 hours and these kids have my chill evaporating like a popsicle in the Sahara desert. A few random tidbits for your reading displeasure.

While I was braiding her hair, Lili and I had a chat about being healthy so she can have healthy hair instead of nasty hair and she said, “But mommy, why is your hair nasty?” My very mature response was of course to yank her hair and clap back defensively. “It’s 8 in the morning, I haven’t combed it coz I’m doing your hair. And this is tuiga hair, you nasty little brat, now shut up before I sele po’o your ulu.” See - #NoChill

Miss 6 - Mommy, can we go back to American Samoa?
Me - Why?
Miss 6 - Because the McDonalds here doesn’t have monkey bars. The one in American Samoa does.
(Sounds reasonable to me)

Miss 2 – Mommy, mommy! I have to tell you something!
Me –Tell me!
Miss 2 – I smell something! (Sniffs the air suspiciously)
Me – What is it?
Miss 2 – It’s you. You smell like poop. Get out of my nose!

Hourly occurrence:  I’m having a convo with child 1. Child 2 interrupts, “No, talk to ME, mommy!” Fight ensues. I intervene. Lots of yelling. Forced apologies. Peace restored. Rinse. Repeat.

I went to Walmart to buy a vase and came home with an X-Box, Peppa Pig figurines, a doll house, and no vase.  This is what mom guilt looks like. The shit ain't cheap.

5 minutes after a lengthy, practised, well thought out, logical explanation about why we can’t get a dog yet, Miss 6 says: “How about now, mom? Can we get a puppy now?”

I bought a bunk bed. Worst decision ever, because:
1) Making the bed on a corner top bunk is a cardio workout that I don’t appreciate.
2) The kids climb up and down the damn thing all day but refuse to sleep on the top bunk at night so the three of us are crammed into the bottom bunk, with each of them doing star jumps in their sleep. It’s a good thing I don’t sleep much anyway, because I’ve been sleeping in 2 hour blocks being woken by a kick to the face or an elbow to the eye. If you see me with black eyes and bloodshot eyes, now you know why.

Miss 2 has saved all her tantrums over the last several weeks for me, and she has been unleashing them on me with next level brutality. Latest one was an epic meltdown over ponytails, I was doing them wrong apparently. The way I deal with tantrums is to not negotiate with terrorists, and let me tell you, her voice goes up several octaves when I walk out of the room. Yes, I’ve missed you too you little screamer. I expect full credit when you launch your opera career.

Lastly, thank you NZ family for taking such good care of them. Too good perhaps. No thanks for the extended vacation they had which they now expect with me! Now, can someone please tell me which aisle of Costco I can find the “Chill” please? I’m running short.
--> -->


Anonymous said…
Chill. Located in freezer section. Next to waffles. Aisle 24.
kuaback said…
same aisle as Ice cream and frozen waffles.
Fotu said…
Maybe they have it in that aisle but I will probably just take the waffles. Lol

Ya'll got me, tho! :-)