Life's cruel coincidences

I've realized lately that life is full of cruel coincidences, like

That my life is coming together and falling apart simultaneously.

That I am on the verge of a new career, but I haven’t unpacked my suitcase since I arrived a month ago.

That I asked for what I want, and got exactly what I asked for, and now I am eating my words.

That this move has been so easy, and the most difficult thing at the same time.

That my body and hair are in great shape, but my insides are in disrepair.

That I am screaming on the inside (and at night sometimes) but I am the picture of togetherness every day.

That a life can take decades to build, but just an instant to irreversibly undo.

That, that which I crave, is probably just as bad for me as that which I have. Love is greater than Freedom. I know this to be true, and crave it anyway.

That, that which I have ought to be enough, is enough, and yet, its not.

That a conversation with the person I most look up to, turned out to disappoint me so discouragingly.

That I care more about the people than the marriage.

That I’m relieved to speak honestly for the first time in a long time, and yet I’m so resigned, my famous optimism locked away. 

That I already hate my marriage therapist, and yet I’m paying him to give me advice I already know. Which makes me hate him more, and helps me none.

That my effort to remain open is an exercise in stubborn futility.

That my prayers are coated with denial and guilt, so I’d rather not utter them.

That I have everyone supporting me, and willing to listen but I don't want to talk. 

That I will break words, and break things openly and virtually, in a vain attempt not to break things in real life.

That I am not sure about anything, except life’s cruel coincidences.

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