Searching still

The first week back was unfortunately, yet unsurprisingly… drunken as I offered myself a pick-me-up beverage basically every day since I’ve been back due to one excuse or another (Meeting old friends, coz it was Wednesday, coz I was thirsty…).

I’ve decided to go on a detox. I know it’s comical but please don’t laugh, I’m trying here. I will report on that later, and hopefully not to report another failed attempt, although I’ll stress that the operative word there is “attempt”. Story of my life, #TeamTryAgain

As far as life goes, its still strewn with uncertainties and I’m trying to get sober adjust and find a new normal and new goals to get engaged and excited about. Trying to choose quickly but carefully, as I know once I reset the course of my life, it will likely pick up speed fast, because that's how I like to attack my goals, like a wrecking ball into a ton of bricks. 

The only things I know for sure are that we have a place to live for the next three months and I that am still waiting for bloody Government paperwork as I change my mind every day about where I want to live.

On the career front, I am navigating opportunities praying for the wisdom to find them and the courage to choose the right ones.  I feel I want big city life, yet the money and the difference I can make in small island states is more profound, even though it comes with dirty politics and more small minds, which truth be told, I am tired of.  Also, the families are pulling us in different directions, which is just great. Thanks guys! Super helpful.

I caught up with a friend of mine whom I haven’t seen in 9 years. We went to college together and he reminded me of all the ridiculous things I used to say and do in college, mostly at his expense. LOL! I called him naive and basically predicted that life would swallow him up and then I laughed in his face. I’d (conveniently) forgotten a lot of the details but basically, I was wrong of course and he lived exactly the life he planned for himself. But meeting him again, I remember him as being exactly the same back then as he was now, and he said the same of me (basically that I was a mean bitch. LOL!)  We laughed a lot, we drunk dialled some of our old friends and we just had a good time. Love friendships like that. 

It made me think of how uncertain the future is today. Like it was 9 years ago not knowing where life would take me. I suppose, no matter what happens, we all make it somehow, and ultimately at our core we remain the same, and the good stuff, like friends and memories, you can at least be reassured that those can last forever.