Doing me

It’s been 6 weeks since I left my job. Aside from the withdrawals and emotional shit storm I dealt with facing that decision once I’d made it, the following things have happened. The boring crux of it is: I’ve become just a regular mom, doing regular mom shit. Lol. And I like it.

1.     My kids and I have been spending much more time together, we are annoying each other. They’ve finally stopped asking me why I’m home from work so early because they’ve seen me home during the day more in the past 6 weeks than they have, basically ever in their lives.  I’ve spent a lot more time doing simple shit, like sharing meals and trying to get them to eat something other than noodles, Happy Meals and cheese pizza.  Yelling at them to pick up their damn toys, and answering their million and one questions with, “Because I fricking said so. Now go to sleep.” This is torture and bliss at the same time.
2.     I actually went to the bank and did my own personal banking myself, at 1pm on a Wednesday afternoon. This may not sound special (it’s not) except that I haven’t done this in years, and I haven’t done anything outside of work on a Wednesday afternoon in years. It took me an hour at one bank and then another hour at the other bank, and I enjoyed a long chat with a lady I ran into in line and we talked about kids, husbands, and crazy in-laws. See, regular mom stuff!
3.     I started on Fitbit again, and I’ve started T25 again, it’s hella early days (ie I am still wildly overweight) and I’m still working on the eating but I am improving incrementally every day. As much I’d love to shed 30lbs in 6 weeks (like I’ve done before) I figure this whole health and wellness thing is really about the long game, so trying to take my time and do it right. In any case, I’m enjoying taking the time to hate exercising while I’m exercising.
4.     I’ve been told by many people that I’ve run into since being back, “Wow, you look so relaxed!” The truth is, I feel relaxed. I feel good. I have had more sleep and taken plenty of time for massage, hair treatments, facials, manicures because #ImWorthIt. Also, I finally stopped drinking every day. I don’t need the alcohol as a crutch to get through the day anymore. Only on weekends. Lol Just kidding. Just haven’t felt the need to get completely inebriated, and then I’ve been busy with husbands family reunion, and changing my life plan every other day.
5.     Our NZ permanent residency applications are also completed and filed, we are waiting for Aotearoa to invite us in now, but I never was good at waiting so I have plan A, B, C through Z. I am also getting in the process of getting my US Green Card. Despite that husband & kids are US citizens, and I have never been bothered enough to get it done in the past 5 years. I was joking with husband that we may end up divorced and the least I could get is a green card before then (bad joke I know lol). Seriously though, I am all about opportunities in bigger Pacific markets right now, and NZ and Hawaii are both exciting options.
6.     I’m in the process of setting up a business. Doing what exactly, I haven’t figured it all out. But it’s happening. Plus, I’ve spoken to my Tax Accountant more in the last few weeks than I have in years to discuss the implications of our move, business, citizenship status etc on our family finances and taxes. After which, I redid my family’s financial plan more thoroughly than I have in, again, years. I’m finally applying my financial acumen to my own personal finances, for a change.
7.     I’m finding it somewhat amusing that people have felt the need to bring to me what people are saying about me. My reaction to this is the same as it’s always been for this type of thing (which is nothing new to me): Firstly, if only my life were that exciting. How disappointed people would be if they only knew that I'm spending my days in bank queues and arguing with my 6 year old. Lol Secondly, the amount of cares I give about what people say about me = zero.  Not in that haters gon hate way either. It's something I learned early in life is that it simply doesn’t matter what people say about you, it matters even less what you say about you. The chances of you changing people's minds is slim, and no matter what you say and do, and worry about, it doesn't reduce the fact that people will always talk and always have opinions about you. What people think or say also doesn’t change the truth. So long as you are good in your truth, you might as well be amused at the interest and just focus on your own happiness.
8.     I’ve spent more time planning my own life in the past few weeks than I have in probably the past 8 years which was before pesky husband and bratty expensive kids. I am finally prioritizing things for myself & the family that I put on the back burner because I always had other (work) priorities. The biggest driver of my decision to leave was the burning desire to change course and take chances (risks) now that I would surely regret having not taken later in life. I had a recurring moment where I saw my life flash before my eyes where I felt certain if I didn’t leave now, I would never leave this island.  Not that I mind this place, but I’m Carrie in SATC, dammit. I need more big city adventure in my life before I’m old and senile.  So it was about seizing the opportunity to be able to reset, reprioritize and reorganize my life around things that are important to me and hopefully set a course for more exciting opportunities for me and the kids. We are still at the beginning of this, but my eyes are fixed on the horizon. Ia ua lelei, Moana o Motunui. Se va’a I goko.


Mrs Taefu said…
πŸ˜‚ regular mom shit sounds amazing! Keep rowing that boat. πŸ‘πŸ½
Region Beyond said…
I noticed that you say you are not a US Citizen? Are you from Apia or Pago Pago?
Tasi Barber said…
Texas is very affordable for new comers. My wife and I moved here in 2013 with no jobs nor any knowledge about this kind of shit we've put ourselves in to. But, here we are enjoying the big State and our kids love it here. Like the ol' saying here.. "Everything is big in Texas"... All Poly's fit in...