New day, same sleepless nights

It's 2.37am, and I'm finding it difficult to sleep. It could be that these overpriced hotel beds are not as comfortable as my Cali King Serta Sleeper + memory foam bed at home, or it could be my alcohol soaked body just doesn't know what's what anymore.  It could be the snoring or maybe it's the weight of the world on my forehead, as usual.

My mind is abuzz with thoughts, emotions and questions. 

What now?!

I had expected to feel an overwhelming sense of relief today, and yet here I am, still plagued with same hangovers and the same sleepless anxiety of yester-life.

I feel apprehension. Hesitation. Discomfort.

Perhaps this is the natural "cycle" of whatever the fuck I'm supposed to feel. Then again, I left my job, I'm not facing a death in the family. Although it sometimes feels that way. 

Why must I inebriate myself to the point of virtual sedation?! 

Why not? 

Yo, adulting is hard AF. Pass the vodka tonic. And make mine a double.

Decisions. Decisions. And indecision.

About money and life and the future. Family and marriage and love. It all makes me dizzy. In a good way or in a crazy way, depending on the day. 

Spent the afternoon drunkenly answering relationship questions from a listener who says he wants a serious relationship but spends way too much time down in the DMs to actually mean it. Lol Bruh, don't talk about it be about it! Ah, young *love. When the extent of your problems was, "why hasn't he text me back?" Sigh.

Heading to see the family. They will give me generous, equal doses of sanity and insanity. And unfortunately, my liver is unlikely to get the break it so desperately needs. Who needs one anyway?

Who needs livers, and sleep and peace? 

Apparently not me. 






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