Misery

I'm kicking stones at the base of this pit of misery.
Delaying.
Trying to find time, to process.
To properly deal.
Trying to recalibrate.
Trying to recenter.

I am... wallowing in this pit of misery.
Trying to find myself,
Amidst the pieces of my shattered enthusiasm and broken optimism that are strewn across the cold, damp floor.

Surrounded by family and love
Yet all I feel is loneliness.
As I lose myself, in myself.

The weather is like my insides,
Wet and drab.
Melancholy and tired.

The things that ought to comfort me.
Seem shallow and empty.
Like shadows that only hint, and never quite materialize.
Like whispers lost in the gusts of a windy night.

I wander aimlessly within my mind.
Seeking answers.
Exploring questions.
Searching fruitlessly, tiredly, miserably.

Finding nothing.

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