Back to basics
I've been wondering lately if the reason I'm so miserable is because I've been stuck in the mundane, stripped bare, back to basics. And it's confronting, to have to deal with just yourself and your thoughts.
But what if, it's also deeply liberating to be stripped bare of labels and preconceived notions of who I ought to be, and what I should be doing. To be to walk away and be free.
Perhaps if I look closer, doing just the basics, without the crowds or the lights is the where true strength and our authentic character lies.
We find ourselves in the darkness of our own thoughts, when the limelight has dimmed and the applause has died. Therein lies, the true you. Will it break you? or will you silently rejoice in gratitude?
The saying goes: if you're nobody without a gold medal, you'll be nobody with one.
So without gold and medals, who am I?
Well if the last 2 weeks is anything to judge by, I am family grocery shopper and Uber driver. I am impatient but loving mother to my rambunctious, personality rich children. I am independent, undeserving but loving wife to my long suffering, bottomlessly patient husband. I am my parents complaining and cranky errand person, cook, and general slave - I job I complain about endlessly but secretly love. I am silly, funny (if I do say so myself lol) and fiercely loyal friend. I am an imperfect, work in progress. I am breadwinner by choice. I am life and dessert enthusiast.
I am love.
I seek to move forward without flinching when I look back. I seek to keep my eyes ahead, and not feel hurt when the past smiles at me. I want resolution and closure and all those other tear stained synonyms for being "over it".
And perhaps that just comes from knowing who you are, when there's nobody around.
You can whisper to yourself - you are whole and complete, and you have everything to look forward to. Open thine eyes.
Now go buy the damn groceries.