Showing posts from April, 2016

50 years is only 2500 weekends


So I've registered my website URL which now brings you to this page.

Why? Just because, I might do something with it one day.

The end.

As you were.


Must our rhetoric be one of such pain and anger? One of dispelling one man’s theory about who we are One of calling out the misrepresentation of our histories One of reclaiming our self definition and identity
Must it be that?
Why do we have such contempt for what white men say about us? Why do we even believe what white men say? Who are they that we give them such power to invoke such pain in us? Why do we believe their version of our histories? Why do we not instead, see it just as a white mans version of our history? Why do we not just write our own? Why do we accept limitations we perceive? Why don’t we change our perception?
When people tell us untruths, why do we believe what they tell us, why do we try to change what they say? When we only really control how we receive it, and what impact we choose to let it have on us, if any? Why do we cry foul at the deeds of others, when we can use it improve the quality of own? Why do we wallow in the angst of being kicked down? …

My daughter turns 5 tomorrow.

Tomorrow, my older daughter Liliuokalani Jeannette Milaneta Moliei Vaai Tinitali turns 5 years old. It seems like yesterday I was grappling (ie struggling) with the idea of all I would lose becoming a mother. Of all the time, money, and energy that I would have to give up for this other person (ie not myself). Looking back, I really thought I was like, Jesus Christ or something. Lol. E, kalofae. Today, I can say its been worthy, but the struggle is definitely real as ever, as every day I negotiate with the guilt of not giving them enough of myself, and the burden of expecting too much of them when (as my much more level headed husband reminds me) she’s just a kid. (Seriously though, why can’t she recite her alphabet backwards and do algebra yet, what do even they teach her in that school!?”) Certainly, its been amazing to see a young person develop ideas and opinions, completely their own (i.e. Not Mine!). She’s more thoughtful, and I'm more vocal. She’d rather build her own world in…