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Showing posts from October, 2011

The secret (my version)

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The problem with thinking you can do everything (with a smile on your face) is that too often you take on too many responsibilities, spread yourself too thin, and in the end nothing gets done and if you're lucky like me, you make things that were perfectly fine, worse.

Over the last few months - I've found myself just constantly in motion, doing what needed doing - mothering, working, wedding planning and all the rest of it. Naievely I've been relying on the endorphins of motherhood to pull me through. "My child's smile gets me through." What a crock of shit. Another thing I'm pissed they didn't include in the book. They need to write in there that as happy as your child's smile makes you, endorphins don't pay bills, or write project plans or change diapers.

When I think back on it - what have I been so busy achieving? What have I been losing sleep and getting fat over? And what have I to show for it? Half made wedding plans? Part executed wo…

Running on empty

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I'm. Tired.
I've always been pretty good at "soldiering on" in the face of adversity but today just feels like the longest day. EVER. Truth be told, this whole past couple of weeks has been pretty dragging ass. 
I feel like a zombie and my body is acting strangely like it can't decide whether it's sick or not. I guess my body is growing weary of my constant pushing through the familiar feeling of exhaustion & fatigue. It feels as though my brain is working on 15% and the challenge I'm most aware of is keeping my eyes open and myself upright as I try to whittle away at the piles and piles of work fodder before me. Not to mention the big Samoan wedding plans and my amazing weightloss which has yet to materialize. Liposuction looking like a possibility at this point. That or bulimia. Who am I kidding? When could I ever get bulimia? Lol What an idiotic thought. Proof I'm not completely delusional just yet. Phew - silver lining, if ever there was any.