Showing posts from December, 2006


So Christmas has been and gone, the actual day itself was a bit of a blur having spent about 85% of it inside my mother's kitchen doing my best not to poison anyone as I was sure nobody in the house was at a suitable blood alcohol level to drive anyone to hospital if need be. So, the only remnants of the day are the lines across my body from the mountains of striped clothing I got as presents (stripes are the new black, it seems) and back aches from being made to restock the dishwasher repeatedly in a manner akin to child labour. The rest of it went by in a flurry of bbq and Steinlager.

The Christmas Eve and Boxing Day parties are far more memorable. Well, I'm sure they would be if I could remember them. But one way to know that it must have been great is if you wake up the next morning with a parched throat from mistaking yourself as a Soprano (when you're not a Sopr-anything), and wondering to yourself why you removed your jeans and sweater (it must have been a hot nigh…

Shady Dealing

Having neither the funding nor the stomach for Law School, I was ill equipped to help my parents sort the legal mumbo jumbo involved in purchasing a home. But being the eldest daughter and a general ability to at least "appear" smart and talk some shit, when duty called, I blindly rose to the challenge.

Come first meeting, I had my guard up for an agent that would take us for none the wiser first time buyers and try and blitz through some shady agreement and get us to sign something we didn't really know about. To my surprise, the first real estate agent I sat down with was excruciatingly thorough. He explained everything word for monosyllabic word. He seemed to 'have our back' when we asked what sort of conditions and price we'd like to offer on the property. As we seemed to breeze through the process I thought to myself.. "see now that's wassup! An honest man in the business" Turn the clock forward a couple of days, we find out through the…

Tag... You're it!

Thanks Palagi Pepelo for popping my tag cherry. It was um, special.

1. Things that scare me: Horror movies (lol), losing loved ones, life passing me by, and (sometimes) not being good at stuff. (lol, stupid huh?)
2. People who make me laugh: My brothers and sister, The crew on "Whose line is it anyway?", Rowan Atkinson in "The Thin Blue Line", Queens of Comedy, and when I'm toasted drunk... everyone and their momma.
3. Things I hate the most: Really cold weather, sunburn, hangovers, qualities that are thorns in the character of the human race
4. Things I don't understand: War, my Telecom Systems and Networks class, guys.
5. Things I'm doing right now: Digesting my milkshake I had earlier, listening to TV and watching YouTube = sitting on my lard ass.
6. Things I want to do before I die: Remain debt free. Travel! Do something unorthodox like get a black belt. Do something worthwhile like breed (lol)
7. Things I can do: Cook a damn good mushroom sauce!, be an en…

Smells like home

Even if I'm not home in Samoa, I know I'm definitely home with my parentals when I start having conversations like:

Upon Arrival.

I walk into the arrivals area of Auckland airport, looking like shit after a ten hour flight and starving after AirNZ skimped on food to pay for their ugly new Zambesi uniforms.

Me: Malo mom

Mom: (hugs me) Oka, ua e lapo'a.

Me: (laughing) Ia ua lelei Elle MacPherson! (Turning to my Dad) Malo Dad.

Dad: Malo Filifotu Franisha, ua a? Ova le magaia o le Mac salad a le au Hawaii a'ea?

Me: (laughing) E ka'i leaga le faiga o ka'ika. Dad, ka fia ai a, makuai oki a le meaai i luga o le vaalele. (Never mind le hangover la lea)

Dad: (Jokingly) O kakou e le koe fai gi kakou meaai, ga o le apu a ma pea le la'a fa'akumu ai le pusa aisa.

Educate yourself.

Dad: O a mai le aoga?

Me: O la e OK a. Oi, you know that research I did in my Honours year in Samoa, Dad? My supervisor emailed and to…

Just a crazy week.

Some shiet has gone down this week.

1. I hauled ass to finish two 25 page papers, a test and four assignments. Last minute, I know. Blah blah blah. Go Away.
2. I went to campus bar for "lunch" and stayed posted up there for a couple of um, hours longer than I intended. For um, three days in a row before divine intervention took me out to stay with family, away from bars with cheap booze and cool bartenders.
3. My family called me up one morning, 2 days ago and said "Can you fly over tonight?" After deliberating with my conscience regarding my classes I'd have to get out of it, and assignments I'd have to do on the plane, for a split second, I decided.......Ok.
4. In the span of three hours, I did some express Christmas shopping (macadamia nuts for everyone) and called my lecturers/ necessary Homeland security personnel to let them know of a family dishwasher vacancy "emergency" that required my urgent presence in New Zealand.
5. I sat next to a Samoa…

You know you're Samoan.

*A variation on the Samoan calling you out in a crowded street/ at the bus stop/ in the mall.

You know you're Samoan... when in a crowded restaurant and you're walking towards the bathroom past an aisle full of a gang of families enjoying a meal only to hear your rather helpful cousin bellow out from the other side of the restaurant loud enough for the whole street to hear:

"Suga, you can't go out through that way, it's a fire exit, you gotta go out through the front entrance"

(well you don't say... is that what the big sign on the door that said "This is a fire exit" meant?)

*Silence while everyone in the restaurant looks at the poor native who can't read the sign*

"Kai lava kia, o le ou ke alu ou ke pi"

Bless our brown hearts.