Why do I drink again?

I am currently sitting at work cursing that 7th or 12th glass of bourbon I had last night. At 9pm. I woke up this morning feeling like there was an invisible anvil propped on my body pinning me to the bed, and maybe a piano being repeatedly dropped on my head. It took every last drop of willpower for me to shove off the anvil and throw myself into the water this morning. In fact, I think my cousin physically dragged me out. Needless to say I walked in to work later than usual and I am amazed I made it at all. The sound of each tick on the clock today has been dinning in my head like there is a giant gong hoisted above my head. I keep looking over my back because I am almost SURE that there is a bunch of little men chucking toilet bowls at my head but my timing seems to be off. Sneaky little buggers. It does not help that today happens to be one of those days that my boss has decided to hand me every piece of work under the sun short of paying her mortgage. I have used up all the energy within a five metre radius of me just staying propped up in my office swivel chair. I think the fact that I am trying to establish here besides that I will never ever again consume a drop of alcohol (or at least not for the next 12 hours) is that I am at work and I am hungover. LIKE A BITCH!

Now that I've at least gotten that off my chest (the anvil remains) I can talk about something else. Like, oh say, the fact that I'm going to see my family tonight! Yes, I am getting on a plane (be it a no frills no meal no movie one) tonight and I am flying over to New Zealand to visit the parents and my siblings. And, I'm excited as heck about that. I would clap or sing a song or something to demonstrate just how excited I am but the hangover has limited my body movements to breathe in and breathe out. I had intended to stay for just the long weekend but then I thought to myself - Who do you think you are? Donald Trump? Get your fares worth you stupid girl! So the opportunist in me boldly took the risk of being eaten alive and approached my boss about my being away for the next week and half. I filled out leave forms yesterday and celebrated with a BANG last night. Or more like a BANG followed by a THUD and a DIZZY.

I'll be meeting up with a good friend of mine staying at the Duxton in Auckland on Business. And yes, you better believe we will drink that minibar dry, have sushi lunches and act like snotty divas shamelessly racking up that corporate bill. Hopefully by then, I can walk and my tastebuds will be working again. Aside from getting drunk at someone else's expense, I am also looking forward to spending time with my family. I have missed them a lot as of recent, which is kind of funny considering I prattle on and on about freedom and independence and making it on my own two feet like I was Nelson Mandela or someone equally important like Johnny Depp. I guess it shows that underneath all the ambition and drunken haze, at the end of the day, I'm just someone's daughter and someone's sister. Which is kind of comforting. Or is that the loving embrace of the bourbon still?

I'm looking forward to my Dad's long talks about what I should do with my life followed by an equally important discussion of what I'm cooking for dinner. I'm looking forward to playing rigged games of Scrabble with my Dad (Our official family board game) (Official only because it's the only one we own). I'm looking forward to passionate fights with my Mom over how to fold the laundry or which direction to vacuum the house. Followed by Mom-instigated, ill-afforded, completely uncalled for but utterly necessary shopping! I'm looking forward to my kid brother telling me a million knock knock jokes that make me laugh til Coke squirts out of my nose. I'm looking forward to talking and laughing with my kid sister about everybody and everything that happened in our lives in the past three months we haven't seen each other. Including all the stuff in our twice daily emails to each other. I'm looking forward to getting stinking drunk with my other kid brother on his 18th birthday which will happen when I'm there. I look forward to embarrassing the heck out of him when my sister and I take him out and start dancing like we were auditioning for flippin' Lord of the Dance or something.

It should be fun. I would smile thinking about it but the muscles in my face don't work yet.


Lotopa said…
Lucky you getting to go to NZ. And you have it all wrong. Johnny Depp isn't equally important as Nelson Mandela. He's more important. Where would we be without Pirates of the Caribbean?
t!@ said…
Lucky Biarch! I'm so jealous right now it's not funny! I'm back to farken work again so...yeah, that's why.heh. All I have to say is: I hope you're getting equally as drunk up your ass over there for me too bitch! Oh wait a minute...I almost forgot who I was talking to back there!har! I is chuss gid wiv u! ;) hehehe.

Anyway, have heaps and heaps of fun babe! Say hi to the familia and wish Booby happy birthday for me! Ua legal le kamaloa...I can just imagine you and Ida getting him drunk off his face!haha...ah well, good times! :)

Ok well I best get back to work...my ummm...15mins on the net is almost up..heh. Take care and write me bitch! Love to Hen if he's still there!

pye pye
Shark Girl said…
Hi Drunken Diva!! Bet you was having lots and lots of funs over there aye. I was hate you lot of dimes. But I was miss you too! Hibs! Lol. As you can see Tia and I miss you alot...especially as Lent is OVER and no more church on fridays and finally we was gan co to Pora Pora!!! Hehe. Take care and get drunk as often as possible and wait...remember our chocolates and alcohol.

I was see you soon. Be good!
fotu of samoa said…
Lotopa... I'm with you on that one. I was trying to show my humanitarian side there but I guess it can't be denied... I'm shallow - and not the only one.. haha.

And as for the other two tricks. Miss you guys too! Been doing nothing but eating and getting drunk and sleeping and watching ... yea you know what trash I watch. lol. Nyds I wrote you guys an email through Sita coz I couldn't remember your corpmktg addy. I kinda miss the banter! lol.

Will be thinking of you when I polish up the Chivas later... hehe.

Much Love and Sushi!


Shark Girl said…
Yeah rub it in. Sushi. Humph! Lol.

Make the most of it curlie. Taken care now. Pai bai.