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Showing posts from November, 2005

Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my Daddy's birthday. My Dad, is the coolest Dad in the whole world. No joke. I mean this with every core of my being when I say I wish, I could be just like him.

Dear Dad.

Every good thing in my life, I started out doing for you.
Only to realise later that you do did that for me.
I've never showed my appreciation enough.
And you've never complained about it.

The compassion and laughter after a bad day at school.
The stern voice after a mistake or wrong doing.
The calm listening ear and sound advice.
The hugs on demand and space when I needed it.

With you I always feel loved.
I always feel believed in.
I sometimes think that your faith in me is misplaced.
But I'm too afraid to disappoint you to not try.

In the end that's all you want. For me to try.
And no matter what I do I know you're proud of me.
And it makes me smile because I feel so lucky.
I'm so blessed to have you as my Dad. Thank You.

Happy Birthday Dad.

Love your daughter.

The hardest thing

The hardest thing
For someone I care about...

You're seeing him. And I really don't like him.
I've heard enough stories to believe that he is bad news.
And I'm only worried because you like him. Genuinely.
And you're only asking to be hurt by getting involved.

Maybe I am too quick to judge.
Maybe I should give the guy the benefit of the doubt.
And believe me I would rather be wrong.
But if it involves you getting hurt - it's not a chance I'd take.

Just thinking about what's going on angers me.
Not only because I'm sure you'll get hurt at the end of this.
And because what hurts you will make me very angry.
But more because I feel powerless to stop it.

I want to physically drag you away from him.
To protect you. To keep you safe from losers and players.
From guys that don't deserve to kiss the ground you walk on.
But I've realised something. That this whole situation is not really about you and him.

It's about you and me.
It's the hardest thing in th…

I'm a bitch. And I'm bored. Beware.

I received a particularly cocky message today from some loser. The gist of it was that I should thank my lucky stars coz he's coming to Samoa soon and he so smoothly says "so tell me where your spot at so we can hook up. Holla at ya boi".

Uh.. say what? No. I don't think so. This has happened before from other randoms and usually I'll yawn then reach for delete. This time, what can I say, I'm a bitch and I was bored, so... I replied.

*grin*

Dearest new love of my life...

WOW - I've been waiting my whole life for you to send me a hi5 message so that we could finally meet and get married and settle down and have children here on the island. You asked "where mah spot?" Well... I'm not sure you know where Namu'a is, but it's one of the uninhabited islands of Samoa, off the East coast of Upolu. Yes, I have a lovely little hut there atop the hills of Namu'a. Things get a bit quiet out here but the wild boars and the mosquitoes keep me comp…

Because dreams are free

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If this was Cinderella's shoe - I would have had augmentation surgery to fit this baby and Cinderella would have stayed dusting cinders before her sudden death (under suspicious circumstances) still a spinster.

Source: Bergdorfs
And because I would only marry for love, Prince Charming would have been just a bonus.

Fasi the Ref!

There's a Samoan expression that goes "If you lose the game, fasi the ref"... which as you might guess means, if you lose, kick the refs ass (yes, we've a rather savage culture...lol.) To me, it's always been just a funny thing to say and to watch coz I've actually seen it happen! Hilarious for Samoans who are alllllll about physical humour. But maaaan, I never thought I'd feel like actually enacting it until yesterday.

Yesterday... we lost our Touch rugby semi final. My angst is derived from the fact that we were ROBBED! Because, actually, we won the game - we knew it, all the suporters knew it, even the opposition knew it, heck they even told me themselves that it was a fair try/ score/ touchdown... the only person that didn't know it was the fucking REFEREE!!! Now our touch team - we're quite a "vocal" bunch yea. So vocal that after our last win, the opposition team complained about our supporters being too rowdy and had them banned fr…

"This" payphone

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This payphone (even though it doesn't look very special, and you have no proof of it other than my word for this) ... is the closest payphone to the international dateline. It is located in Falealupo, Savaii - the most western point on the most western of Samoa's islands. Because, Samoa is the closest place to the international dateline, Falealupo is the last place to see the sun set every day. There was BIG hype over it when people came in from every where to see the last sunset of the millenium in 2000, which turned out to be pretty average (lol.) So this payphone, I swear, it's located out in the middle of nowhere - there's not even any cellular coverage out there - so I can probably safely say that nobody has dialled themselves into debt using this baby.. haha. But, it's interesting that if you use this particular payphone, you'd be calling at the last moment of that day anywhere in the world.. Cool huh? haha. (Or is it "Yipee fucking doo!?" haha…

a new woman

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It's funny how there are some things you do that just give you a much needed lift. It might be a good cry, a strong drink, a pedicure, a long walk, retail therapy, a decent work out, a change of scenery, a day of sleep, a good movie or laugh... the list is endless. For me it's a most of those I've already mentioned and then this morning it was using this baby.


Garnier Synergie Pure Deep Pore Wash. It's the good shit. I am a sucker for good skin. Seriously, I think one of the most attractive things about a person is having clean, clear skin. It makes a shitload of difference to a face/ body to have good healthy skin. This morning, after a particularly crazy, loud, dramatic and crunky weekend, it felt so good just to massage the tiny, grainy particles into my skin, really gather a nice, foamy lather then rinse it away. Like I was watching a lot of "bad shit" go down the sink with all my skin impurities. Who knew washing your face could be such an experience? lol…

A pathetic moment

Just let me cry

There is sadness in my heart
As hard as I try to not let it show
My face and mood shows it too
I can't hide it and easily the tears will flow
I ask myself why I feel this way
When I knowingly put myself through it
I took a chance
And boy did it backfire
At least I took a chance right?
Right now the pain and hurt I feel
Border on regret
He hurt me
But I know that it is only because I let him
I don't deserve to be playing the victim
Because I too was at fault
I too knowingly did wrong
But still I feel like a wronged wife
Even when I know that in actual fact
it was I that wronged the wife.
I am angry
But mostly with myself
I am hurt
But it is mostly my fault
He is no good
But I am not much better
I want to be ok
But I'm not
Because I cry myself to sleep
Thinking how I was such a fool
To be in love with you
Knowing you loved someone else
But believing you anyway
When you said you loved me
I knew to walk away
But trying to find the strength to walk away from you
was so hard
IS so hard.
Yet you seem …

flower power

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This past Friday was Arbor Day here in Samoa. Everyone gets a day off work and grows trees! Now I'm not the keenest gardener but I'm all for saving the environment. That and I felt like offloading some of these pics I've taken. SO, this post is for Arbor Day. Can you TELL I'm lacking inspiration? HAHA!

A sei is the Samoan name given for a flower worn over the ear. It is the island "accesory" if you like. It is common knowledge that if you wear it on your right ear you are married and on the left if you're single. Some people view it as a kind of way to pick up or as a self promotion thing (lol!) but I prefer to think that you wear it on the left until you EARN the right to wear it on the right... of course many people totally disregard this old adage altogether and wear it however they like. hehe.. Well, I LOVE wearing seis and wear one just about every day. It's one of those things that I'll exert a bit of effort to get a good one. How much effort…

woe is my wallet.

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So I've got finances on the brain. Or rather - the absolute "lack" of finances. lol.

I'm by no means raking in the cash (FAAAAAAAR from it), but I do earn enough to get by on, I DON'T have ridiculous living expenses and I SHOULD have enough to save some. Why then is there a zero balance in my savings account that is non-existent? Well, I could justify it as purely being a matter of choice. It's not that I couldn't save - it's just not a priority at this moment. I mean, I worked my ass off to get where I'm at right now, I'm allowed to be a little bit slack about getting my shit straight, right? It's not like I couldn't save if I really wanted to right? It will happen, I just like taking my time, and I can afford to so heck, why the hell not? See now I COULD justify it that way but then I know better and can admit the real reason I haven't actually saved squat. That would be because I am a procrastinatin' lazy ass bitch that can&#…