Showing posts from 2005

in relax mode

So I've touched base in New Zealand... and my absence on here has not been because I've died of sadness at missing parties at home nor have I been run over by stampeding sheep or anything of that nature. The simple answer (and unfortunately its not that I've discover a life.. ha!) is that I've been totally relaxed and in holiday mode feeling like I need not expend my precious energy on anything that does not directly result in improving my relaxation experience. hehe.. . Not that blogging is some kind of chore for me, rather, if I had to choose between blogging and enjoying boost juice, sushi or a manicure (as I have) its not a hard choice.
Some random highlights of my time here so far...

I spent 5 days in Wellington with some school buddies of mine. Caught up and had loads of fun, sleep, cocktails, lunches and manicures. It's amazing how you spend time with people and then you're apart for an extended period of time and when you see them again it feels just like…

Last leaving thoughts

In true blue Fotu fashion. I am not even nearly ready to leave tomorrow. I have not packed, I have not picked up my passport or confirmed my visa, I still have shitloads to finish here at work.. heck I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon and I'm coming in for a half day tomorrow! I've only just booked the second leg of my travel about 5 minutes ago online. And Christmas shopping that I'm supposed to do before I leave remains on the mile long "To Do" list.Teehehe. Anyways... I ain't even worried about - it will all ready and done in time. Some people call it slack, I call it "living life on the edge".. riight. haha.

I can wait to see my family. My kid sis and I have crossed paths a few times this year but my brothers, I've seen them about twice a year for 1/2 week periods for the last 3 years... Gawd. It's like I hope I still know them well. I haven't lived with my parents since I was 17. When I turned 18, I went to Uni and have been doing my…

WHERE is my Christmas Spirit?

I've just booked and paid for my flights to spend Christmas with my family in New Zealand. I wish I could say it was a steal and I managed to save heaps of money but being the disorganised procrastinator I am, I'm lucky to even be on the plane. hehe. But as slack as I am, I managed to get the whole thing organised in one day. Yesterday I wasn't going and today, I am. Booked and paid for. Why plan a month in advance when it takes all of one day to sort it out. Anyways, excuses aside, I leave next week. So here I am sitting here at my desk (looking like I'm deep in thought about work related stuff.. but really) and I'm browsing my calender after a rough morning chasing bank statements and travel documents around town when it hit me... it's De-fucking-Cember... it's the end of yet another tumultuous year of me being me. which to be frank, is pretty darn exhausting. Not only that but it's Christmas in THREE weeks. No disrespect to Jesus or anything but Holy…

Cindy Lauper got it right...

My sister left in the weekend after spending just under a month here... We had a ball to say the least. Just some flicks of our last weekend here doin' what we do best... and no that ain't karaoke to Cindy Lauper.. that's livin' the damn song:

Girls just wanna have FUN!

Sisters in crime. :)
Me and Fili Sexy Mama.

My two favourite dorks, being... dorks.

Me and Hen at our Yellow themed Hurricanes Touch Team party.

ok, I was TRYING to center this shot.

we definetely take after Dad's side of the family. Definetely.

see you at the bottom!

Ninjas in the night

a TAD too close up of the chicas

I like this flick. This is the BEFORE flick.

wardrobe change 5... haha.

segzy oyes

"About the blog"

Last updated: Friday, April 30, 2010.

About the blog.

Faikakalain Samoan literally means: to create lots of talk. It refers to people who seek out and share stories about others. If my blog title was in English it would be "Gossipmonger".I started this blog some 5 years ago for pretty much the same reasons I am still writing in it today - because I like to write. I bitch (a lot). I write for fun. I document things I want to remember. I reflect. I discuss. I get poetic. I vent. It's by far the longest diary I've ever kept. There is no greater purpose here beyond my own space to say whatever the heck I want, when I want to.I write primarily for me but if someone else gets a laugh out of it, well, I'm one good deed closer to heaven aren't I?By the same token, if I offend you, don't over-estimate your importance in my life and think I did it intentionally.The blog has lived through several bouts of identity crisis throughout the years. I started the blog under …

Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my Daddy's birthday. My Dad, is the coolest Dad in the whole world. No joke. I mean this with every core of my being when I say I wish, I could be just like him.

Dear Dad.

Every good thing in my life, I started out doing for you.
Only to realise later that you do did that for me.
I've never showed my appreciation enough.
And you've never complained about it.

The compassion and laughter after a bad day at school.
The stern voice after a mistake or wrong doing.
The calm listening ear and sound advice.
The hugs on demand and space when I needed it.

With you I always feel loved.
I always feel believed in.
I sometimes think that your faith in me is misplaced.
But I'm too afraid to disappoint you to not try.

In the end that's all you want. For me to try.
And no matter what I do I know you're proud of me.
And it makes me smile because I feel so lucky.
I'm so blessed to have you as my Dad. Thank You.

Happy Birthday Dad.

Love your daughter.

The hardest thing

The hardest thing
For someone I care about...

You're seeing him. And I really don't like him.
I've heard enough stories to believe that he is bad news.
And I'm only worried because you like him. Genuinely.
And you're only asking to be hurt by getting involved.

Maybe I am too quick to judge.
Maybe I should give the guy the benefit of the doubt.
And believe me I would rather be wrong.
But if it involves you getting hurt - it's not a chance I'd take.

Just thinking about what's going on angers me.
Not only because I'm sure you'll get hurt at the end of this.
And because what hurts you will make me very angry.
But more because I feel powerless to stop it.

I want to physically drag you away from him.
To protect you. To keep you safe from losers and players.
From guys that don't deserve to kiss the ground you walk on.
But I've realised something. That this whole situation is not really about you and him.

It's about you and me.
It's the hardest thing in th…

I'm a bitch. And I'm bored. Beware.

I received a particularly cocky message today from some loser. The gist of it was that I should thank my lucky stars coz he's coming to Samoa soon and he so smoothly says "so tell me where your spot at so we can hook up. Holla at ya boi".

Uh.. say what? No. I don't think so. This has happened before from other randoms and usually I'll yawn then reach for delete. This time, what can I say, I'm a bitch and I was bored, so... I replied.


Dearest new love of my life...

WOW - I've been waiting my whole life for you to send me a hi5 message so that we could finally meet and get married and settle down and have children here on the island. You asked "where mah spot?" Well... I'm not sure you know where Namu'a is, but it's one of the uninhabited islands of Samoa, off the East coast of Upolu. Yes, I have a lovely little hut there atop the hills of Namu'a. Things get a bit quiet out here but the wild boars and the mosquitoes keep me comp…

Because dreams are free

If this was Cinderella's shoe - I would have had augmentation surgery to fit this baby and Cinderella would have stayed dusting cinders before her sudden death (under suspicious circumstances) still a spinster.

Source: Bergdorfs
And because I would only marry for love, Prince Charming would have been just a bonus.

Fasi the Ref!

There's a Samoan expression that goes "If you lose the game, fasi the ref"... which as you might guess means, if you lose, kick the refs ass (yes, we've a rather savage To me, it's always been just a funny thing to say and to watch coz I've actually seen it happen! Hilarious for Samoans who are alllllll about physical humour. But maaaan, I never thought I'd feel like actually enacting it until yesterday.

Yesterday... we lost our Touch rugby semi final. My angst is derived from the fact that we were ROBBED! Because, actually, we won the game - we knew it, all the suporters knew it, even the opposition knew it, heck they even told me themselves that it was a fair try/ score/ touchdown... the only person that didn't know it was the fucking REFEREE!!! Now our touch team - we're quite a "vocal" bunch yea. So vocal that after our last win, the opposition team complained about our supporters being too rowdy and had them banned fr…

"This" payphone

This payphone (even though it doesn't look very special, and you have no proof of it other than my word for this) ... is the closest payphone to the international dateline. It is located in Falealupo, Savaii - the most western point on the most western of Samoa's islands. Because, Samoa is the closest place to the international dateline, Falealupo is the last place to see the sun set every day. There was BIG hype over it when people came in from every where to see the last sunset of the millenium in 2000, which turned out to be pretty average (lol.) So this payphone, I swear, it's located out in the middle of nowhere - there's not even any cellular coverage out there - so I can probably safely say that nobody has dialled themselves into debt using this baby.. haha. But, it's interesting that if you use this particular payphone, you'd be calling at the last moment of that day anywhere in the world.. Cool huh? haha. (Or is it "Yipee fucking doo!?" haha…

a new woman

It's funny how there are some things you do that just give you a much needed lift. It might be a good cry, a strong drink, a pedicure, a long walk, retail therapy, a decent work out, a change of scenery, a day of sleep, a good movie or laugh... the list is endless. For me it's a most of those I've already mentioned and then this morning it was using this baby.

Garnier Synergie Pure Deep Pore Wash. It's the good shit. I am a sucker for good skin. Seriously, I think one of the most attractive things about a person is having clean, clear skin. It makes a shitload of difference to a face/ body to have good healthy skin. This morning, after a particularly crazy, loud, dramatic and crunky weekend, it felt so good just to massage the tiny, grainy particles into my skin, really gather a nice, foamy lather then rinse it away. Like I was watching a lot of "bad shit" go down the sink with all my skin impurities. Who knew washing your face could be such an experience? lol…

A pathetic moment

Just let me cry

There is sadness in my heart
As hard as I try to not let it show
My face and mood shows it too
I can't hide it and easily the tears will flow
I ask myself why I feel this way
When I knowingly put myself through it
I took a chance
And boy did it backfire
At least I took a chance right?
Right now the pain and hurt I feel
Border on regret
He hurt me
But I know that it is only because I let him
I don't deserve to be playing the victim
Because I too was at fault
I too knowingly did wrong
But still I feel like a wronged wife
Even when I know that in actual fact
it was I that wronged the wife.
I am angry
But mostly with myself
I am hurt
But it is mostly my fault
He is no good
But I am not much better
I want to be ok
But I'm not
Because I cry myself to sleep
Thinking how I was such a fool
To be in love with you
Knowing you loved someone else
But believing you anyway
When you said you loved me
I knew to walk away
But trying to find the strength to walk away from you
was so hard
IS so hard.
Yet you seem …

flower power

This past Friday was Arbor Day here in Samoa. Everyone gets a day off work and grows trees! Now I'm not the keenest gardener but I'm all for saving the environment. That and I felt like offloading some of these pics I've taken. SO, this post is for Arbor Day. Can you TELL I'm lacking inspiration? HAHA!

A sei is the Samoan name given for a flower worn over the ear. It is the island "accesory" if you like. It is common knowledge that if you wear it on your right ear you are married and on the left if you're single. Some people view it as a kind of way to pick up or as a self promotion thing (lol!) but I prefer to think that you wear it on the left until you EARN the right to wear it on the right... of course many people totally disregard this old adage altogether and wear it however they like. hehe.. Well, I LOVE wearing seis and wear one just about every day. It's one of those things that I'll exert a bit of effort to get a good one. How much effort…

woe is my wallet.

So I've got finances on the brain. Or rather - the absolute "lack" of finances. lol.

I'm by no means raking in the cash (FAAAAAAAR from it), but I do earn enough to get by on, I DON'T have ridiculous living expenses and I SHOULD have enough to save some. Why then is there a zero balance in my savings account that is non-existent? Well, I could justify it as purely being a matter of choice. It's not that I couldn't save - it's just not a priority at this moment. I mean, I worked my ass off to get where I'm at right now, I'm allowed to be a little bit slack about getting my shit straight, right? It's not like I couldn't save if I really wanted to right? It will happen, I just like taking my time, and I can afford to so heck, why the hell not? See now I COULD justify it that way but then I know better and can admit the real reason I haven't actually saved squat. That would be because I am a procrastinatin' lazy ass bitch that can&#…

Shameful Self Promotion

Today, in an act of defiance against my employer for handing me copius amounts of work and no overtime I decided to screw around online for a while during work (like THAT doesn't happen every day! haha) Anyways, so I found myself on ChooHoo! and I ended up posting the following in a thread called Up Close that asks you to post a profile about yourself. Teehe. So, in my act of defiance I was at it with a passion and ended up writing a novel. Anyone that can spend an hour writing about themselves deserves at the very least to be published more than once (haha) so it therefore deserves a spot in my blog. Anyways - it's all about ME! so unless you've got the tolerance of the man who drinks a bottle of tequila a day - leave now.


Topic: I'm doing this...
Topic description: to spite my employer... ha!
Posted by: -savaiian girl-
Talofa ChooHoo!
Firstly - props to this site - I'm lovin' it! despite that I'm not a very active member on here (teehe) I've had an inter…

Time Out!

Dammit my desk is MESS!!! I am not an anal clean freak - but I have these flashes of domesticity where I suddenly can't stand mess and have to go and clean everything that has a speck that even slightly resembles dirt. Right now is not one of those but usually my desk is presentable enough so the mess still irks me a bit. Why the warzone? Sweet Jesus, could it be because for a darn change I'm actually DOING SOME WORK! Ha!
Anyways... I just felt like taking a quick second from my cluttered-ness to just breathe and ramble a few words about nothing. *Deep breath* I wish I had something inspiring or witty to talk about other than my messy desk but hey I'm just not in the mood so I'm not about break my neck trying for anyone. lol. I just need a time out from this crazy busy world of disarray I'm in.

Pointless meetings
endless chain of command
How many more documents
and spreadsheets
can I stand?

self inflicted
I ask myself WHY?
Well, how else am I
going to f…

My bitchfest for the day.

So I arrived into work this morning, got me a giant glass of water, locked into Star FM and sat down to check my emails just like I do every day. I check my work email, GMail, Hotmail, Yahoo, hi5 profile and MySpace... yes, it's quite a job, and I clearly need a life but hey it's fun, so I do it. Anyways, I got this gem of an email from some random guy asking for my hand in marriage. lol.

I'm sure many people have received emails from random people asking them to be their friend. Especially on "friend" websites such as MySpace and hi5. It just never ceases to surprise me how some people email you asking you for more than friendship. Sometimes, most of the time - I'll just laugh it off, think "what a crazy world" delete it and never spare a second thought to it. Like the time I got an email from a guy in prison complete with a mailing address to Madison Correctional Institution and a mugshot of the guy! lol.

Anyways - there's those times and then t…

Dealing with a broken heart

When someone is reckless with our most precious organ - our hearts - there is a choice in how to face it.

You could get all mad angry black woman - kick his ass to the curb, show him the door and move on because people like him don't deserve half a chance with people like you. You could ostracise him from your life and be bitter at him because he doesn't deserve the time of day from you after what he put you through. You could be a complete bitch to him - scream at him and tell people how he knowingly hurt your feelings and how he strung you along and mislead you by using those three little words before he cast you aside and went back to his unsuspecting girlfriend. You could get angry and scream and bitch and feel good about letting out the hurt and the anger and giving him a piece of what he deserves, to be mistreated. Then you could stand tall and walk away proud being the beautiful independent woman that you are and never let any man put you through that again.

That's on…

White Sunday

Sunday 10th of October was White Sunday here in Samoa. It's an annual day in honour and celebration of children. Now it's very much a Christian celebration, much like Christmas. Children get new threads, they get to eat first at the big feasts (normally adults eat first) and the major event of the day is definetely the Church service that is lead by... the children. Church Sunday Schools and Youth Groups practice and rehearse months in advance for it. The slacker I am, I stopped participating some years ago. But this being my first White Sunday back home in 3 years, I had to smile and remember how exciting and fun it was as a kid having a whole day and everything in it devoted to you just being a kid. Here is my neice Noelani at her White Sunday this year.

Posing before Church.

That mischievous look on her face... hehe.

Throwing herself into the actions of her their little class song.

Raising her dress while they're reciting their little verses... haha.

Singing and clapping …

My niece Noelani

Isn't she just gawwwwwjus!

Lani and Lama