Wednesday, January 18, 2017

New Year notes

Why hello 2017! 

It's late but yesterday was my birthday, so technically my new year just started so my new year resolutions for my (ahem) 33rd year are to:
  1. To be more mindful with my family. To do homework without yelling. To do marriage with less yelling. 
  2. To take less bullshit, and to indulge more freely in the things that make me truly happy and fulfilled.
  3. To save money and remember that I enjoy financial freedom more than the latest whatever-I-don’t-need.
  4. To be clear on, and true to the vision for my life and career.  To write down the 5-year plan (again) and to do my best to not veer too far off course (again).
  5. To walk in faith, and remember that my plans may not always be His plans, but it will always work out. 
Wish me luck, and I wish you all luck too xo



Thursday, December 08, 2016

Change reflections.


Can I just say the world has changed since my last blog entry on September 23rd? A few reflections, because, we all know I love a good reflection.

Change is the only constant in life. If it catches you off guard, you deserve it because you got too comfortable and you forgot that life and change are much bigger than just you and just this moment.  In the wise words of Janet, “like a moth to flame burned by the fire, that’s the way life goes.” Life doesn’t care about what you think you deserve, or whether you’re ready, quite the opposite. The bitch will just burn you, like, snap. There. You're crisp.  Ready or not. 

Change is the world pushing you out of your comfort zone because you sat too long there. The more difficult the change, the deeper in the comfort zone you are and the more you needed to get out.  Comfort zones are where dreams get "settled" and eventually die. Get out. Stay out.  

“Getting out” is a state of mind, an epiphany of understanding that this is the universe doing you a favor, something you haven’t been able to do for yourself but needed. "Staying out" is to follow through with your actions and actually living the life the universe intends for you. Staying out is also paying attention to the signs, because there are always signs. Gut feelings. Annoying family members who tell you what you don't want to here. Jealousy. Feeling unfulfilled. Pain. Questions. Doubts. Or shock due to imposed, unexpected and difficult change. 

When (not if) you torment yourself by asking why, and particularly why me? you are simply denying the fact that life happens, and life isn't about just you. We torment because we selfishly think of ourselves as deserving more than what we got, and feel entitled to more. But life does not judge or discriminate. It does not reason, or consider how deserving you think you are. When you let go of what you think you deserve, you free yourself. Go ahead. Be free.

Unexpected and difficult changes force you to confront who you really are, and what your real purpose is in life? For me, it's like dusting off a time capsule I buried ten years ago and going, “Shit! Haven’t see you for ages!” and getting excited about what I found there. Pieces of myself I put there, presumably for a time like this, when I needed reminding, when I needed to see my reflection.  





Friday, September 23, 2016

This week

This weeks trials
  1. One Sick daughter, the other one went to school.
  2. Sick husband
  3. Being sick but still having to work
  4. No exercise
  5. Gave in to bad eating, pretty much every meal
  6. Got told I was fat by masseuse that I was paying $70 to make me feel better about myself.
  7. 5 year old daughter giving me thirteen year old attitude during homework time, or tauloto time, or bedtime.
  8. 1 year old is leaving damn wooden shapes everywhere. Slept on some last night.
  9. Washing machine is dead
  10. This week has felt like it would never end!


This weeks wins
  1. Sick husband stayed home so he did all the school pick up and drop off duty
  2. Sick husband stayed home with sick daughter
  3. Felt sick, but not sick enough to stay home with sick husband and daughter.
  4. No exercise!
  5. Ate what I wanted
  6. Had amazing massage. Felt better.
  7. 5 year old is doing homework, learning tauloto and going to bed on time.
  8. 1 year old is learning her shapes and colors. Her favorites are “Triangle” and “Purple”
  9. Can finally get energy efficient washing machine.
  10. This week ended!